He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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