Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
