He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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