we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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