My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
