Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
