***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
