Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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