I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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