I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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