Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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