Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
im on a boat
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