Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
