in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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