is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
