I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
