Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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