butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize