i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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