The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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