Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
