you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
