I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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