Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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