season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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