awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
