and you said cock pushups were impossible
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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