Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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