We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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