oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
COCAINE IS GR8
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