Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
