Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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