He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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