Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
