your room smells of hookers.
And success
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
