Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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