he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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