you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
