Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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