You can't special order awesome
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
