I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
