Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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