I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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