By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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