All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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