Kiss
Puke
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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