I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
