We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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