What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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