you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
