I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
