another moral hangover. fuck.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
