So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
