i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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