He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize