I'm really into asian looking animals
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
