My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
