I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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