Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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